How many of us plan for the one event that all of us will attend, even if we will not know that we are there?

A few years ago, a relative died suddenly. He had been sick for awhile, but death, no matter how long the illness, is still sudden. The next day we were all gathered around a table at the funeral home planning the funeral and bereavement details. Who would do what? Flowers. Music. Announcements. What would the children do? What would the grandchildren do? If you have had a death in the family, then you have been to such a gathering for the final plans. It is no picnic. 

Most of us have a will and a "pull the plug" conditional authorization. However, I have never seen a person plan all the excruciating details of a bereavement gathering, that is, until earlier this week. But when I saw the plan, I knew it was a thoughtful thing to do. 

I will just review only the primary elements and you can imagine the rest. He prepared an estimate of the cost. His estimate was based on a menu of 12 cases of beer, ample peanuts and a modest amount of cheese. He called a local hall and and determined the cost of a 2 hour party. Jack, the fictionalized person, estimated his celebration party would cost $3,800. He gave that money in cash to his son.  Jack assembled all the forms to rent the hall, to file his pre-written obituary with his pre-selected photo, and to donate his body to the local medical center. There would be no bereavement greeting lines. Everyone would be seated at tables for 8 people and the beer and food would be placed on the table. He planned all the details like a celebration party.

Then, and this is the part that impressed me the most, Jack meticulously assigned everyone a job. One son was assigned to buy the beer. One grandson was assigned to distribute the beer to the tables and so on, and so on, until all the children, grandchildren and relatives had a specific role to play in the final celebration. Everyone had a job including assignments to clean the hall after the celebration. Each person was told to go to the son with the cash to make the purchases. And yes, he preassigned speakers and gave each of them only 3 minutes each to talk. He picked the music and how it should be played. Jack showed me the print-out of the plan. I was impressed in that it allowed all the family members to participate in a way designated by Jack, relieving the burden of "What shall I do?" from others.

I hope that I have explained this in away that, with a little thought, illustrates the thoughtfulness of Jack. Unlike Jack, few of us plan for the one event that all of us will attend, even if we will not know that we are there.

What is your plan?

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